New Position = New Headaches

Tonight was my training for my new position at the station as the modern rock music director at the radio station. To tell the truth, I am scared shitless about this new job and all the responsiblities that come with it. All these crazy thoughts come rushing to my head everytime I pick up the phone to call a promotions contact. Like the fear that I really don't know that much about music. I keep trying to reassure myself that I wouldn't have this job if I wasn't qualified for the position. (Yes, I'm a huge geek that worries about the craziest, non-existent problems...call me neurotic, I like to think that I just prepare myself for the worst.)

Other than my super headache that is pounding in my head, things seem to be going better than they have at the moment. I'm currently polishing off a jar of salsa (leaving chip crumbs all over the room) and listening to the Wicker Park Soundtrack. This soundtrack is so amazing...I'm not lying...you should go out and buy it right now...it could possibly change your life.

Yes, I'm in a surprisingly good mood at the moment despite all the drama that has gone down since I got back to school. Somehow I managed to ruin things with the one guy that has had true feelings for me. For a while it was really tearing me apart, but then I realized that it is his loss not mine. If he really wants to leave, then all I can do is wish him the best of luck. At the moment he is choosing to not speak to me...he has me blocked online, won't return my phone calls or text messages. Ah yes, I think I really fucked up this time. The worse part is that I really don't know what I did to make him so angry.

So I tried to get over the fact that I messed things up with beforementioned guy by hanging out with one of my friends from back home. Ok, so maybe he's more than a platonic friend at certain points, but he's still considered a friend nonetheless. Yes we do kind of have a romantic past, but nothing serious. And me hanging out with him has pissed off numerous people to no end. This all completely blows my mind because its none of their business. I don't know if he and I could ever get into a relationship anyhow. First of all, there is too much negativity coming from the people back home and we're not even together. Secondly, I have a hard time trusting guys after the rocky romantic past that constitutes my life for the most part. This guy has dicked me over in the past and if history has an uncanny way of repeating itself, then I doubt I'll be hearing from him again.

Thus, the moral of tonight is beware of the music industry. I can never have a relationship with someone in the industry because I seriously doubt it will work out. (both guys mentioned above are in the music industry in some way, shape or form.) If you get a job that is involved with the music industry, then be prepared to suffer a huge headache.