Catch Me If You Can

Last night began week two of my homeless reign. "Hot Christine" is now "Homeless Christine" as the radio station dj's dubbed me.

So I was chilling in my room at around 12:30am feeling pretty badass for living illegally in the house I usually live in. I was rocking out with my station manager's space heater and eating an amazing chicken wrap from Bennigan's Restuarant.

Maybe it was the loud Kings of Leon or all the lights on in my room, but public safety definately came in to investigate. Instead of acting like a normal person and admitting my guiltiness, I shut off the lights, my computer screen, and cell phone to hide in my closet.

After hiding in my closet for about 20 minutes, I decided that enough was enough. From now on, I'll be sleeping in the radio station until school offically re-opens and I'm allowed back in my house legally.

The worst part of last night's fiasco didn't happen until this morning. It was 8:50 in the morning, and I had 10 minutes to return the big-ass space heater and get to work on time. Unfortunately everyone thought it would be a grand idea to be working on cleaning up the campus at that time.

Thus, I had to lug the space heater around the campus in front of public safety (my college's rent-a-cops) and the lawn workers. This might not seem like a big deal until you have to do it.

The most important thing to remember is confidence. You absolutely cannot walk across your college campus with a space heater looking guilty for illegally staying in your house.

First thing you must do is make sure you have some rockin' tunes to listen to. (This will drown out angry public safety officers trying to question you and your illegal space heater) I chose to listen to The Blood Brothers on my iPod, even though my friend Charles called them "hipster retards" last night.

Next, if you run into anyone along your trip you must make sure to make them feel like they are the ones doing something wrong. When they glance over at you like your crazy, you must give them a look like nowadays everyone is carrying around space heaters, like its the newest trend since trucker hats went out of style.

Most importantly, take the shortest route as possible. Yes, they were many who must have thought I was insane from walking out of the woods with space heater in tow, but they probably would have thought the same if they saw me walking in the middle of the road.

The great thing is when my boss asked why I was late, I told her I had to return a space heater back to my radio office. She didn't even question it.