A Place In Displacement

After a in-depth discussion with my dear friend Kayla, I've realized that I am becoming an old lady at such a young age. Not old as my age because everyone will agree that being only 20 years young should be the least of my problems. It is definitely the way I act that is alarming.

It wasn't until examining my life as of recently when I came to the conclusion that I have become old and boring in my ways. I haven't been to a show in weeks. (This is a bad sign because I used to average at least 2 shows a week this time last year.)

More evidence to me being an old lady was a recent conversation with my lady friend Ayden last week:
Ayden: "Christine, will you come to SXSW to help out with the Fader party?"
Me: "Umm, is there a place for me to crash in Texas with some other people?"
Ayden: "Yeah, we have a condo for everyone."
Me: "Oh geez, this is too much for me to digest...let me get back to you later."

I later texted her back to say I didn't have enough money for a plane ticket. (which is not a lie...I'm broke as shit and still don't have enough money to afford the things I need - see post below.) But the sad thing is that last year I would have a way; sold some body parts, borrowed some money...Anything to get my ass down to Austin and see my dear friends.

Is it that I'm giving up on the dreams I once had this time last year of conquering the music industry and finding a sweet job? Or maybe is it that my aspirations are changing because instead of going to some conference I'd rather sit in my apartment and set up job interviews for real jobs. I think my career goals are choking me and the scary part is that I still haven't realized what exactly my careers goals are.

Whatever I'm doing (being music director, being A&E editor of college newspaper, working at one of my various jobs) I think I'm always being under appreciated. I think people aren't quite understanding what it is I'm trying to achieve.

Case in point...The bulletin board I just spent a better part of my afternoon making. (*gasp* Yes I am also a resident assistant at my college *gasp*)



Will anyone really notice the screenshot of Franz Ferdinand from their latest video (see upper-right-hand corner in below picture) I included?


Of course the students at my school wouldn't appreciate that, and the reason why is because half of them probably don't even know Franzy upon sight.

Which brings me to my next point that Kayla and I realized...We are stuffing our brains with useless information. As a result of us knowing that Diego Garcia is in fact a very sexy Argentine man and a military island...And as a result of us both owning "The Great Indie Discography" have we made ourselves unable to communicate with our peers?

The truth is that I should have seen this coming. I actually enjoy sitting in my apartment at night and reading Shakespeare for fun. I actually pile my CDs into little piles on my desk at work with each pile having a category of: "Things I Enjoy" and "Things My Co-Workers Will Enjoy" and "Things I Am Forced To Enjoy So I Can Write Happy Reviews Of Them For Work." And God knows that my "Thing I Enjoy" pile is getting smaller and smaller.

Although this seems like just a lot of bitching, there is some good news. Things for me are about to take a major turn in a whole new direction. I can't divulge the details right this second, but believe me...Good days are sure to come. I swear.