Alien Abductees Unite!

Fun things to ponder when you decide to accompany your roommate to her lecture on firsthand documented accounts of ufo abductions:

1. Yes it is true that the man standing in front of the room is crazy. Yes everyone sitting around you is also crazy for listening to the man who wrote a book with the description "aliens from outer space are not here to help us!"

2. After not tuning out the "alien man" for a few seconds you realize that yes it is possible you could be an alien abductee. Unfortunately the aliens will not abduct you at this moment and allow you to skip out on this lecture...too risky on their part.

3. No, the boy sitting in the corner is not cute. He's not intellectual. He's not someone you should try to iniate conversation with after the lecture. (In fact he is crazy just like everyone else in the room, especially since he looks very interested during the entire lecture.)

4. After stealing the crazy alien lecture man's book from your roommate, you skip through it until you get to the part about alien sexual encounters. For a few seconds you think kinky....that is until you realize that if you had sexual intercourse during an alien abduction about 10 aliens would watch the deed....which would definately kill the mood.

5. It is unacceptable to scream out "I think I am abductee! I've just been too afraid to say so." This will not shorten the lecture. In fact, the crazy alien man will probably try his regressive hypnosis on you, which in turn will actually make the lecture longer.

6. Never, never, never again decide to attend another lecture with your roommate unless it is absolutely mandatory. (Or if you owe her big time. I.E. you ruined her most favorite sweater while having sex with her boyfriend on her bed and she walked in and witnessed it.)

7. After an hour and a half into the lecture you start to question your own sanity. Just tell yourself that everyone else is crazy. You are only there because you didn't want your roommate to witness the pain by herself.

8. After two hours into the lecture you promise yourself to never again accompany someone to an event because you feel sorry for them.

9. Thinking that using the excuse that I got abducted everynight for the past semester will not serve as an acceptable excuse to your professors as to why you cannot finish your final paper for their class.

10. It is okay to hate everyone in the room after the lecture. They made you miss out on seeing the OC. But it is okay since you and your roommate are freaks and decided to tape it just in case an alien abduction did occur while walking back from the lecture.